On Tuesday I was checking my gmail account after work to get an email address when I saw a message from Sam entitled Robert's Demise. I could not just leave that message unopened and was horrified to learn that my friend Robert, Niteo's amazing driver, had passed away that day and was to be buried in his home district of Luwero on Wednesday. He could not have been more than 35 and he left behind a wife, Jennifer, and two young children: Joshua (5) and Joy (2).
Robert was all kindness and gentleness. He was always patient and always ready to explain the ways of Uganda when we were not sure of how we should proceed. Karine and I had a deal with him that he would tell us if we were making a bad move by telling us if it was a good dress or not.
We had developed that code after visiting Sanyu Baby Home. European volunteers had just paved the entrance to Sanyu which was very steep and had a sharp turn. It had always been gravel and these volunteers had worked in the beating sun to pave it so that the vehicles would not have such a hard time getting up to the orphanage. As we attempted to go up to the orphanage, our van tires span and could not get purchase because the cement was too smooth. Robert smiled and nodded and said that the cement was slippery.
Karine asked if he had known the cement would not be a good idea. Robert nodded and explained that the cement would now be broken up and gravel would be used once again but that the volunteers had thought they were doing a good thing. Yes, we westerners know best and so we do what we think is best without asking the Nationals if what we are doing is really right.
Karine said to Robert: "You know Robert when your wife tries on a dress that she thinks is nice but you don't think it suits her and she asks you if it's a good dress?" Robert laughed and said that he did know. "Well Robert, I want you to tell us if we are doing something that we think is a good dress but you know isn't a good dress. Promise?" And he promised.
We even used that the same day when we went to Bombo to buy land for the Elohim children. As Duncan and the land owner negotiated in Lugandan about the sale, we said to Robert "Is it a good dress?" Robert replied, "Yes, I think it is a good dress." We purchased the land. We would not have done so if he had said it was a bad dress. He even signed the bill of sale as a witness to the transaction.
Another Robert story that I will never forget is when we saw him the third year I went and he spoke about his new baby girl. When I asked about her name, he smiled and said in his gentle way, "When I held her for the first time and looked at her, she made me so happy that I could only name her Joy."
His dream was to buy a shop for his wife so that she could care for the children while she ran the store. We are collecting funds for Robert's wife and children to give to her when we travel there this summer. It will be very strange to be there without his warm "welcome back."
Robert died from an illness that attacked his spleen. Niteo has suffered an incredible loss of an amazing man who was our guide, our safe driver, and most of all, our friend. Rest in Peace Robert.
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