How to Mail a Parcel

When we were in China, Mum and I purchased three small "relax" chairs that the little old Chinese ladies carry on their backs and plunk down anywhere for a chat and smoke with their friends. I then built boxes and mailed them home individually. The lady at the Bowser post office asked Mum if I was mailing myself home from China because the boxes were fairly large! The women at the post office in China thought it was hilarious because I had to use "official" China post boxes so had bought several for cutting, shaping and taping. They were still the China Post boxes, just not their original shape. The chairs made it home safely and we have one each in our home and one lives at school.

I have varied experience with making boxes and mailing unusual things... I used to build boxes to "mail" the peregrine falcons we sent from Wainwright all over Canada. When you have mailed live birds, you can pretty much mail anything.

Corey thinks I should start my own business: ESSA: Erika Ships Shit Anywhere. Andrew can't even say it without laughing so he won't be managing my Uganda office.

You may remember the two stools that I purchased a few weeks ago. They are now jetting their way to Mum's. Here is the ESSA process in Uganda.




1. Collect the items to be mailed and packing material (yoga mat, unused clothing, plastic bags)

2. Assemble a variety of boxes and an extra large roll of tape and start measuring and building the box.











3. Remembering that in China the contents of the box had to be verified, don't tape the lid to the box.

4. Transfer the large but light box to the van for transport to Posta Uganda.

5. Park the van on the street of the Post Office, remove the large box with addresses written all over it from the van and be asked by the street parking attendant if you are going to the bank. Politely shake your head and state that you are going to the post office.

6. Enter the parcel room and walk past the security guard without him asking you to check your parcel despite him having to check every parcel that leaves the office (see my blog on how to collect a parcel) and despite purses being checked for explosive devices.

7. Be told that parcels cannot be mailed from the parcel office.

8. Be told to exit the parcel office, turn left, and go down the alley to the EMS office.




9. Head out and see no option of going down after turning left unless you want to scale the side of the building and climb down the front.

10. Have a boda driver notice that you are carrying a parcel and make the logical inference that you want the EMS office (this is a VERY big deal) and show you the way through the parked cars, Posta vans and garbage cans, through the alley to the EMS office.

11. Enter the EMS office, put the parcel on the counter and wait.

12. Continue waiting.

13. Be asked by a clerk who has emerged from the secret back room what you need and point at the parcel, indicating that you want to mail it. Be told to wait for the other clerk.

14. While waiting, have a third clerk be called to weigh the parcel.

15. Find that your waiting for the first clerk has been in vain because you have to have your parcel checked by security.

16. Be allowed through the NO NON EMS STAFF ALLOWED door and left to stand in a dark hallway, holding your 9.6kg parcel, wondering where to go next.




17. Finally be told by another clerk to go to the door at the end of the hallway.

18. Sit on the lovely couch and wait.

19. Be given a form to fill and then a lined book to register the contents of the parcel.





20. Wait.

21. Be told "come" and place the parcel on the table for a lovely older man to open and pull everything out.

22. Have almost each item looked at and commented upon. This includes having the neighbouring office workers being called to see the stools and the teddy bear.

23. Thank your lucky stars that the bag containing Bree's underwear was not opened for inspection, just squeezed to confirm it was clothing.

24. Repack all the items yourself so that the box can actually close.

25. Watch in awe as the kind man tapes up the box. Years of experience are evident as the tape whips around the box and the lid is taped shut. (Make a note to return to offer a job at ESSA.)








26. Have another clerk take your box and follow him back to the Staff Only door.

27. Watch him disappear with your parcel through the door as he tells you to go out the back door, walk around the building, and enter the front door once again, hoping that your parcel hasn't disappeared.







28. Finally see the original clerk to pay an exorbitant amount to mail your parcel containing $5 worth of stools.

29. Be told the parcel will be in Canada in 7 business days.

30. Wait for the email from Mum saying everything arrived safely!


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