Ranting about Rape

The internet is down today, or at least that is what we are telling ourselves as we can’t get our magic stick to connect. We went to the local shop and the girl suggested adding time to our SIM card so we did that but we are having no luck. I blame the wind. Corey says it’s not the wind because it has to do with the cell towers but sometimes it is easier to blame something on the weather!

So I need to rant and it’s not a pleasant one so be forewarned. I am going to talk about the prevalence of rape and defilement in Uganda so if you don’t want to know or be part of the conversation, skip this blog post.

Each day I buy the Daily Monitor. It is the independent newspaper for Uganda and it covers all stories from around the country. I am slowly learning more about Ugandan politics and the roles of the various important people. I doubt I will ever remember all the names and roles because they seem to change quite often but I feel it is important for me to know more about what is going on. In China, I often felt as though I was completely out of touch because I couldn’t read the paper and the only news we had on TV was CCTV which gave a “slightly” modified version of the daily news.

Apart from lots of governmental officers being taken to court by various citizen groups, the one story that keeps coming up is about rape. It is called defilement when it happens between a child and an adult but at the end of the day, it is rape. This week the cases reported in the paper (and they only get a one paragraph mention unless the victim is also killed) are: a pregnant woman was gang raped, a man raped his mother, the houseboy raped then strangled a 13 year old girl after an argument over 20,000shilings, a father raped his 7 year old daughter while his wife worked in the garden, and another father raped and impregnated his 13 year old daughter. Those are the cases that have been reported in the last 3 days.

Apart from the visceral reaction that comes with the mere mention of rape, these cases eat away at my brain. What is it about this society that makes men feel that rape is permissible? What is the problem within the society that makes this action something that men resort to? Were societies all like that at some stage in their evolution and if so, what change happened to make this act completely unacceptable? What needs to happen?

Corey says that a big issue is that the men are idle. There is no work despite the fact that there is so much that could be done. If money could be invested into paving the roads, all the men who have no jobs could be hired to repair them. But is that really all it is? Do men in Canada who are unemployed and idle decide that rape is something to do to fill their time? Are there so many more rape cases in Canada than what we hear? I can’t imagine that this is true. I know we have cases of rape. I know pedophilia and incest exist. But on such a grand scale?

We work with girls and women to try to empower them and to try to help them stay safe. “Just say no!” we tell them. But how can they say no to their father/uncle/son? The mother who was raped by her son said that he threatened to kill her. Saying “no” would not have helped her. 

Women here work hard. They are toiling in the gardens, caring for the children, cooking, fetching water… working non-stop. Some earn money but many of them need to give the money to the man of the house. Even the Ugandans that we speak to say that this inequality is a major problem within their society.

What needs to happen to change the mentality of the men? Never mind working with the girls and empowering them, we need to do something about the cultural “acceptance” of this act. And defilement? Why have a gentler word for what is happening?

Sally Armstrong said: “Abuse and rape are not cultural acts, they are criminal acts.” It cannot be excused because it is “their culture.”

Obviously it is not all Ugandan men. It is, however, more than our norm.

There are so many billboards that advertise safe sex and HIV testing. Maybe there needs to be a campaign to sensitize the population about rape. “Shame on you, you disgusting human being.” Maybe I shouldn’t be the one to write the billboards. But something needs to happen.

Andrew, our fabulous Ugandan cultural attaché, says that the biggest issues are a sense of entitlement and no sense of restraint. However, the issues is starting to come up on radio talk shows and in advertisements. Andrew recommended that teachers talk about it as part of the curriculum. Teachers are respected and looked up to so if they are talking about it to the boys, maybe things will start to change. It will be a slow process but at least something is already starting to happen.